KarlaDoesMotherhood

I run. I parent. I laugh. I eat.

8 notes &

Dirty, ugly truths

I have my suspicions that most parents have a favorite. I base this suspicion on my personal experience, and from my friends who have attested to knowing which of their siblings was their parent’s favorite and who was not.

Admit it. If you have a brother or sister or more than one, there’s a good chance you think your parent or parents favored one over the others.

And that sucks. I mean, really, it sucks. It doesn’t even matter if you happen to be the favorite, it still sucks because then the other kids hold it against you. And it’s simply not right.

And I’ll admit that I do it. I can’t tell you if it’s because my son is my second, or because he’s a boy, or because I didn’t have to work through “what does it mean for me to be a mom” when he was born like I did with my daughter, or because he’s super cuddly, or because he lights up when I enter the room and cries when I leave it. I prefer my son.

I am absolutely horrified that these feelings exist within me. But I try to be honest on my blog about parenting, because so often people aren’t. If you’re a Christian, we have a name for this, and it’s called sin. It is absolutely a sin to prefer one of my kids over another.

It’s not that I don’t love my daughter, either. I do. Of course I do. She’s a mini-me, for better or for worse. And she’s about five types of awesome. It’s just that the evil inside me wants to prefer my son.

I am not proud of these feelings. I spend a lot of time praying for my kids, and every time I feel favoritism towards my son, I confess it to God and ask his help to love my kids equally and fairly. I am human. I am a sinner by nature and choice. But it’s what I do with those thoughts and feelings that count. And it’s very important to me that I always direct these particular, ugly, corrosive thoughts back to God.  I’m not perfect. I tell my kids this frequently, and ask for their forgiveness when I mess up. But I feel compelled to put this on my blog, because other moms read it, and this is one of those super-taboo subjects that no one talks about.

Filed under honesty Saturday

6 notes &

Fitness update (I work out!)

I’ve been back to running.
Nothing too serious. I walk the half mile to the high school track and then do a mile or mile and a half, then walk back (I blame YOU, Fitbit!) I actually did some gentle “speed work” Thursday. And I’ve been owning the stadium stairs. Nothing gets my heart and lungs going like sets of stairs. Oye.
My foot is doing okay. A little soreness here or there, but nothing too terrible.
Next week I try out two miles.

The days of my marathon training feel like a long time ago. No matter. I’m running, that’s all that matters.

3 notes &

Signs my kids have been in my room;
Ainsley left her half-eaten PB spoon, Andrew his bink.

Signs my kids have been in my room;
Ainsley left her half-eaten PB spoon, Andrew his bink.

5 notes &

Found this on my FB today.
I take umbrage to this app.
Life is imperfect. People are imperfect. Selfies are imperfect.
AND IT IS OKAY TO BE IMPERFECT! Who are you trying to fool anyway?
I have sun freckles and moles and stray, not yet plucked eyebrows. That’s me! And that’s fine. Really.

Found this on my FB today.
I take umbrage to this app.
Life is imperfect. People are imperfect. Selfies are imperfect.
AND IT IS OKAY TO BE IMPERFECT! Who are you trying to fool anyway?
I have sun freckles and moles and stray, not yet plucked eyebrows. That’s me! And that’s fine. Really.

4 notes &

Me and the kids last Saturday.
Shhhh, don’t tell anyone that I’ve started baby wearing.

Me and the kids last Saturday.
Shhhh, don’t tell anyone that I’ve started baby wearing.

0 notes &

Best smoothie yet!
Banana, half a large orange, cup of frozen mango chunks, half a cup pineapple chunks.

Best smoothie yet!
Banana, half a large orange, cup of frozen mango chunks, half a cup pineapple chunks.

4 notes &

This is not a “look how cute my kid is!” montage of photos. These are the photos I sent to BreatheStephanieBreathe every time my kid stopped. On a half mile walk.
ARRRRGGGH.